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Saturday, May 13, 2006

Heather's Sarcastic Saturday

RUE and KISS scream in my head at times. Resist the Urge to Explain and Keep It Simple Stupid. Okay, you know, some sarcastic writer or editor made up those terms, right? Look at them. Can’t you just hear it with a sarcastic tone? Or is it just because I’m so sarcastic I’m jaded? LOL

I like to think an editor came up with these terms. Can’t you just see it? Picture with me, if you will, a really bad manuscript held in the hand of an over-worked editor. It’s the 20th she’s looked at that day. That isn’t counting the 50 or so query letters she had to slog through also. Bad query letters at that. So she’s reading this manuscript... and wishing she drank because if she did she would be swinging back a bottle right about now… and she just groans again over the tortures read. Thank God, she has a fireplace in her office because as she reads one more overdone description she flings that puppy into the fire and screams KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID!!!

And even better… can you imagine... what if they started putting that in their rejection letters without telling writers what it meant? Editors from all over, having lunch together and laughing their heads off when they talk of these terms. “Should we tell the poor souls what it means?” “Are you kidding me?? Let’s keep them in suspense, after all, we have to read that drivel!”

Ah, but lucky us, some poor, sympathetic editor decided to tell one pathetic writer what it meant. And the rest is history. That editor by the way, disappeared, never seen or heard from again...

7 Comments:

At 12:14 PM, May 13, 2006, Blogger Pammer said...

LOL!!!

And I thought KISS was a computer term. (Ever try to write a computer program in basic? It's worse than trying to get your two year old to do something that requires a series of steps!) But now that you mention it I can see this poor editor. Maybe she became sarcastic after reading drivel. Uh, nothing I sent in btw. :D

Good subject. I can't wait to see the comments on this.

 
At 12:56 PM, May 13, 2006, Blogger ScrollSquirrel said...

ROFL HEATHER!!!!!! OMG. This is hilarious. Uh, so when the editor wrote, Sealed with a KISS....that wasn't a good thing? And, and, and, (swiping dramaticly at tears, chin quivering) RUE doesn't actually mean she was Rendered Unable to Express how astounded she was at my sparkling prose?

I wonder what "Sincerely" really means?

Suggest
It
Needs
Completely
Enormous
Ripping
Every
Line and
Yonder to the burn pile

 
At 3:20 PM, May 13, 2006, Blogger Camy Tang said...

Oh, you are SO bad. And Squirly too with her SINCERELY. Feeling a little bitter today, are we?
Camy

 
At 3:29 PM, May 13, 2006, Blogger Heather Diane Tipton said...

LOL I will have you know that I've never had an editor tell me RUE or KISS!

Of course... there's that whole...never submitted thing. whatever

now Squirly on the other hand... LOL!

 
At 7:40 PM, May 13, 2006, Blogger eileen said...

Ladies, ladies...poor overworked editors don't deserve our sarcasm.They work too hard for the benefit of readers everywhere.

LOL.....think that's worthy of getting my manus read by someone?

 
At 11:26 PM, May 13, 2006, Blogger Dineen A. Miller said...

ROTFL!!!!! Love the part about the editor disappearing. I think he holed up in the corver of psycho ward. Or maybe he decided to TRY and write the perfect novel to show to us fledgling writers how it's really done. Notice how we haven't heard a word? Wonder how many rejections he's stacked up? LOLOLOLOLOL!

 
At 9:38 AM, May 17, 2006, Blogger Robin Caroll said...

Heather, you TOLD! I swore you to secrecy as to what happened to that poor, overworked editor. Sheesh, now they're going to come looking for me. Oh, and btw, that particular editor, well, that one DID drink! Made it much easier to look like they just wandered off the face of the planet in a drunken stupor. Poor saps bought it! LOL

 

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